I am always the last to jump on any technology bandwagon. I had LPs long after cassettes came into being. I was still playing cassettes when CDs became the norm. DVDs? Sure, after they’d been around for a while. It’s not intentional, it just always works out that way.
This year, I buckled and purchased an iPod Nano. (4th generation, purple. Isn’t it pretty?) It has changed my life. I used to see all those people walking around with the white cords hanging out of their ears, trailing into a back pocket or inside a jacket. What terrible tech-heads, I thought. Do they have to be wired up all the time? Is their attention span so short that their brains must be constantly stimulated? Is their world so small?
YES.
I cannot conceive of leaving home without the iPod. I have spent the last four nights loading music onto its 8 gigs of disk space. And photos! And movies! Oh, my! Space for 4,000 songs! I don’t even own 4,000 songs. I can make playlists! I can shuffle! I bugged the IT guy at work about hooking it up to my computer so I can play it through the speakers. I put it next to the bed at night so I can listen to it before I go to bed. (It has a sleep function.) I ordered a shiny case for it so it won’t get scratched.
I understand now why crack addicts are the way they are. Why their first thought in the morning is when they will get their next hit. The last thing I do before I go to sleep at night is tuck the iPod into its little bed. The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is rush to make sure it made it through the night safely. If I get a fingerprint on the screen, I hurry to wipe it off with a scratch-proof microfiber cloth, the kind used to clean the Hubble Telescope. The thought of being separated from my iPod causes me to break out in hives and a cold sweat. My blood burns, my hands shake and my eyes twitch. I begin to drool. All day long new combinations of albums and songs run through my mind. I don’t eat. I neglect personal hygiene. It would interfere with loading the iPod.
I am moved to poetry:
O, my new iPod
You enrich the winter of
My mind. I love you.
I used to fantasize about going into space: the thrill of discovery, pushing the limits of the human spirit and exploring virgin territory. A Galaxy Far, Far Away. Where No Man Has Gone Before. Now I wonder if the space shuttle has a place for my iPod.
This year, I buckled and purchased an iPod Nano. (4th generation, purple. Isn’t it pretty?) It has changed my life. I used to see all those people walking around with the white cords hanging out of their ears, trailing into a back pocket or inside a jacket. What terrible tech-heads, I thought. Do they have to be wired up all the time? Is their attention span so short that their brains must be constantly stimulated? Is their world so small?
YES.
I cannot conceive of leaving home without the iPod. I have spent the last four nights loading music onto its 8 gigs of disk space. And photos! And movies! Oh, my! Space for 4,000 songs! I don’t even own 4,000 songs. I can make playlists! I can shuffle! I bugged the IT guy at work about hooking it up to my computer so I can play it through the speakers. I put it next to the bed at night so I can listen to it before I go to bed. (It has a sleep function.) I ordered a shiny case for it so it won’t get scratched.
I understand now why crack addicts are the way they are. Why their first thought in the morning is when they will get their next hit. The last thing I do before I go to sleep at night is tuck the iPod into its little bed. The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is rush to make sure it made it through the night safely. If I get a fingerprint on the screen, I hurry to wipe it off with a scratch-proof microfiber cloth, the kind used to clean the Hubble Telescope. The thought of being separated from my iPod causes me to break out in hives and a cold sweat. My blood burns, my hands shake and my eyes twitch. I begin to drool. All day long new combinations of albums and songs run through my mind. I don’t eat. I neglect personal hygiene. It would interfere with loading the iPod.
I am moved to poetry:
O, my new iPod
You enrich the winter of
My mind. I love you.
I used to fantasize about going into space: the thrill of discovery, pushing the limits of the human spirit and exploring virgin territory. A Galaxy Far, Far Away. Where No Man Has Gone Before. Now I wonder if the space shuttle has a place for my iPod.
oh my god. You need to step away from the pod and relax! Snuff out those adoration candles in the photo!
ReplyDeleteOnce you have done that, please go to the Apple Store and buy me a red one.
oh, and take a damn shower!!! At least while the songs are loading!
It's hard for me to imagine you neglecting personal hygiene. Eww! I understand your love though. When my Zune stopped working last week I was unhappy. When will it be working again? I need my music. I know people who own several ipods. I can understand this.
ReplyDeleteI have a name for it: Pod love.
ReplyDelete